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March 31, 2012

One month.

So. It's official. We have lived here exactly one month.

One month ago today, we pulled into town with our packed out U-Haul, a mini van filled with tired, anxious, nervous, excited, thrilled children, and started our life here in the "big city" of Washington, DC. It's been a great month.

The kids have been in school and transferred in seamlessly. This was proven a fact when they had a school ice-skating social. We walked through the doors, and no sooner did we get their ice skates on when 5 kids ran over to Brendan and Cecelia and begged them to skate with them. (keep in mind that three of them were girls that ran up to BRENDAN and followed him around the whole time. Very cute). Teddy has been invited to two birthday parties, one of which is tomorrow. The one he went to last weekend was great. The mother and father of the 'birthday boy' were amazed that Teddy was the new kid. They both commented on how he and the other kids acted like he has been here the whole time, best buddies with everyone.

Gary will have officially worked his new job for one month tomorrow. It's been a busy month, meeting new people, students, figuring out where his office is, where the bathrooms are, where to go out for a good breakfast or lunch! He has met some amazing people already and is so excited to dig in and begin his new ministry here. There is so much potential and so many opportunities just waiting to be had. It will be amazing to see the fruits of this in six months, a year, and even 5 years from now.

If I had to be honest about me, I would say this is much harder than I was expecting. I think I knew it would be strange, trying to figure out new schedules, new routines, new grocery stores, new gas stations, traffic, housing, friends, etc... But I wasn't expecting the stress to build on me like it has. The fact that we haven't sold our house yet (and reality is it has only been on the market 3 months, which is really NOTHING in this climate), we are living in someone else's space, (but it is an AMAZING space!!! Truly!), I'm not working yet (and I don't see how I could add another stress to my life in working), we've all been ill at some point or another, (colds, strep throat, stomach bugs), and very little sleep to boot, well, is it any wonder I am not quite feeling myself?

I daydream of when we are in our permanent house. I daydream of when the kids all have a real routine to their days with school, homework, play, extra curricular, eating, and sleeping. I daydream of when Gary has a schedule that is pretty much routine and we know day to day, and week to week what to expect. I daydream of when I am working and making money. I daydream of when Ryan is a little bit older and calmer so I am not scrambling after him putting out fires (so to speak, no real fires, YET), and he is playing alongside the other kids. I daydream of a day I am not daydreaming of the day.

I realize I sound a little cranky and whiny and the moment. Maybe it's because I have had a total of 8 hours sleep in the past three days. Who can think clearly or positively on that? NOT ME (which if you have ever spent a night with me being woken up before I want to, you would know this in spades!).

I think most of all I am just so anxious to make this place permanent! I am not what they call a "patient person". I think it's fair to say I have acquired this genetically, I won't say from whom, but it definitely runs in the family. I want my here and now, well, here and now! Duh?! I know God sits up where ever it is he sits, (assuming he sits) and he probably continuously shakes his head at me wondering when I will get it. I am sure He is hoping soon, so He can finally move on to other issues with me, the list is probably VERY long.

However, I'll never forget the day I stumbled on the verse of Phillippians 4:6-7: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. It hit me like a ton of bricks, light bulbs turned on, bells and whistles went off in my head, everything pointed to this verse and said PAY ATTENTION! Tattoo this on your heart and remember this, this applies to you! I think the part that hit me between the eyes the most was the "WITH THANKSGIVING" part.

How selfish am I that I would sit and complain about the blessings I have? God has blessed me beyond what I deserve, and I can't remember to THANK him for it? When I actually pause, am silent, pray this verse, I am humbled with thanks to and for God. This opportunity we have been given has caused me anxiety in just about every situation, BUT praying and being before God, giving up all that makes me sleepless at night, brings about the peace I am so longing for right now. It's remembering to do this on a consistent basis, I think, that will make the difference.

I really don't need to look too far to be thankful. Everything that is in this picture (minus the White House) is more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed for. And for those five faces I am beyond thankful to God. So I am going to commit this next month to doing just that. Praying with thanksgiving, putting my real worries on God, and let Him do the rest. The peace that transcends all understanding that can guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus is JUST what I have been really wanting. So, why not? Eh? I guess I'll just have to be patient. UGH!

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